For My PoPo

Before you read on: If you think taking pictures at one's own grandmother's funeral is something very very wrong and I should be chopped for this, you should prolly close the window, and proceed to some other blogs/sites without such photos, and not bug me about it. And this is more of an apology post than a tribute post, sorry it turned out this way.

This is a very very very overdue post, sorry =\

As some of you may or may not know, I ditched my Structures tutorial some 2 months back and left (more like abandoned) my group members, to finish up our final SS project all by themselves and then present it to the rest of the class. Anyway, I don't think I would have presented even at gunpoint, so I don't have an excuse for that. Sorry, and thanks for the trouble o groupmates =\

So I balik-ed kampung that day because my grandmother was very ill. The doctor asked all her family members to see her for one last time, and also hire monks to help her soul get out of the body. Very scientific, I know.

The grandmother I saw then, was very different from the grandmother I had been so accustomed to seeing every year, the most recent being only 8 months before. She was very normal then, not exactly in the best of health, but definitely not the sickly type. I can't really explain it, but she looked almost devoid of life =(

I don't know if she recognized me this time, since I'm a very lousy grandchild who avoided going back "all the way to Bentong in a 2-hour ride and end up getting carsick" as often as possible.

She passed away 2 days after, at the age of 72.

The average life expectancy has been steadily increasing over the years, so I think 72 is too young an age to leave the world, but I don't think I should be ranting in such an important post, so I won't go further into this.

I don't know much about my grandma (I call her PoPo), I rarely even see her. No, my parents are not to blame for this, I have always wholeheartedly refused to follow them back myself.

She is never one to talk much. Phone calls to her always ended within 5 minutes, something I like since I don't like phone conversations.

And erm while I seldom ever go back, she actually made a checkerboard-ish blanket and also a rather elaborate carpet(?). Well, everyone else got one too, but every single one's different =) I believe there are some other things, but these two are the only ones I can see in my room right now.

And she never cries. Not that I've seen before, at the very least.

Oh, and she's not afraid of ghosts. In fact, she said humans are much scarier than ghosts.

Somehow the Taoist monks insisted that I take a picture of this.

Anyway, this has been my longest stay at the house, which allowed some bonding time with my 3 little cousins. Usually I just go back during CNY and smile at them sleepily, and they smile back. This time we can talk and play.

I should have visited you more often, that way I'd be able to know you better. I do feel guilty about it. So sorry about that =(

If there is such a thing as next life, I hope I'd be able to visit you more often if you are my grandmother again. For all I know you might have been my grandma in my previous life and maybe I've been this way all my lives, so I can't really guarantee, but I do hope I can.

I don't think I can write anymore than this, I don't know much in the first place, I shouldn't write what I don't know, sorry again for knowing so little. So I'll just stop here.

Do rest in peace, PoPo.